Redwood Cigarettes: great for when you're resting in the hospital, playing tennis, or jogging.
Trevor: "Well, hello there beautiful. Here, (hands over money) go buy yourself something nice.”
Aunt: “This is seven dollars?!?!”
Trevor: “I said something nice, not something expensive…!"
She looks like a bloodhound in front of a wind mill.
Maybe if you got rid of that old Yee-Yee ass haircut you got you’d get some bitches on your dick.
I’m not stoned at all. Hell no, not at all. Completely not stoned. I’m completely not stoned. I’m straight. Completely straight. I could do anything. Shitt, I could be a brain surgeon. Brain surgery, I could do that. Uhh, I shoulda been a surgeon. That’s what I shoulda been…
Now go! I need to meditate. Or masturbate. Or both.
Vote YES to proposition 208 and legalize medical Cocaine.
I think that I would recognize my own underwear, now give them back!
Look, I Love You Jimmy, But You’re An A**hole.
Remember To Turn Off Your Cell Phones, And Please Don’t Masturbate.
What's true and what IS, aren't always the same.
I realize now that it will take time, that the road ahead is long and shrouded in darkness. It is a road that will not always take me where I wish to go and I doubt I will live to see its end, but I will travel down it, nonetheless. For at my side walks hope in the face of all that insists I turn back, I carry on and this...this is my compromise.
There's always a man. There's always a lighthouse There's always a city.
Everybody that I have cared about has either died or left me, everybody fucking except for you, so don't tell me I'd be more safe with someone else because the truth is I would just be more scared
All right, I've been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get Mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man whose gonna burn your house down - with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that'll burn your house down!