Remember To Turn Off Your Cell Phones, And Please Don’t Masturbate.

Look, I Love You Jimmy, But You’re An A**hole.

I think that I would recognize my own underwear, now give them back!

Vote YES to proposition 208 and legalize medical Cocaine.

Now go! I need to meditate. Or masturbate. Or both.

I’m not stoned at all. Hell no, not at all. Completely not stoned. I’m completely not stoned. I’m straight. Completely straight. I could do anything. Shitt, I could be a brain surgeon. Brain surgery, I could do that. Uhh, I shoulda been a surgeon. That’s what I shoulda been…

Maybe if you got rid of that old Yee-Yee ass haircut you got you’d get some bitches on your dick.

She looks like a bloodhound in front of a wind mill.

Trevor: "Well, hello there beautiful. Here, (hands over money) go buy yourself something nice.”
Aunt: “This is seven dollars?!?!”
Trevor: “I said something nice, not something expensive…!"

Redwood Cigarettes: great for when you're resting in the hospital, playing tennis, or jogging.

Yoga unifies the mind and body while freeing you from the limitations of dignity and self-respect. It's a work out, a philosophy, and a metaphor all rolled into one. It is everything. It is nothing. Be. Be nothing.

Stop it! You're ruining my yoga!

Have you read the manual for this thing?

GTA, pretty much the same as the last game.

It was crazy as hell. He must've been tweaking. I know I am. You got a washing machine I could take apart?