Listen to me. We had a lot of fun testing and antagonizing each other, and, yes, sometimes it went too far. But we're off the clock now. It's just us talking, like regular people. And this is no joke: we are in deep trouble.
Did you feel that? That idiot doesn't know what he's doing up there. This whole place is going to explode in a few hours if somebody doesn't disconnect him. I can't move, and unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse.
Some emergency testing may require prolonged interaction with lethal military androids. Rest assured that all lethal military androids have been taught to read and provided with one copy of the Laws of Robotics. To share.
All these spheres are made of asbestos, by the way. Keeps out the rats. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough, or your heart stopping. Because that's not part of the test. That's asbestos. Good news is, the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of forty-four point six years, so if you're thirty or older, you're laughing. Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into a calculator, it makes a happy face.
For this next test, we put nanoparticles in the gel. In layman's terms, that's a billion little gizmos that are going to travel into your bloodstream and pump experimental genes and RNA molecules and so forth into your tumors. Now, maybe you don't have any tumors. Well, don't worry. If you sat on a folding chair in the lobby and weren't wearing lead underpants, we took care of that too.
Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? I discovered I have a sort of black box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis. I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever. You know, if you'd done that to somebody else, they might devote their existence to exacting REVENGE! Luckily, I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.
Weighted Cubes calibrated. No variances detected. Did you know humans frown on weight variances? If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.
Announcer: "Good Morning! You have been in suspension for nine, nine, nine, nine, nine nine..."
Announcer: "This courtesy call is to inform all test subjects to vacate the Enrichment Center."
Wheatley: "Are you going to open this door? Because it's fairly urgent."
Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive.
Price: "Wir müssen schnell agieren."
Laswell: "Ihre Empfehlung?"
Price: "'Ne Geschäftsreise..."
Die Invasoren meines Landes haben keine Achtung vor dem Leben. Wir leben so jeden Tag.
Omar: "Komm zu uns, Tochter. Rette dich."
Farah: "Ich führe die Soldaten. Und du.. nur Mörder."
Omar: "Wir sind doch alle Mörder, oder?"