Mark my words: When these hands are crushing your throat, your dying breath won't be an appeal to God or a message of love to your family. It'll be, "Thank you, Killbane."

Male: You wanna fight the best, you fight me.
Eddie Pryor: The best? The best is beating Sway the Spider-God in a Tijuana Scaffold Match. The best is defending the world title 13 times in one night. The best is winning a last man standing match with two broken legs... Trust me, little Icarus: you're flying too close to the sun.

I know you think I'm just a mindless recording. I'm programmed to repeat silly bits of patter while you drive around and murder people in this video game, right? Look, maybe that's true. Maybe it's true... but I got a question; how independent are YOU? Turning the tables is what I'm doing here. You think you have free will, but really you're just doing what the game tells you to do. How much control do you really have over your own life? I mean, think about it, this is what you do. Take a look, man... you sit around all day playing a video game and listening to fake radio stations. What are you doing with your life? Don't you want to get a girlfriend and maybe learn something new? Surprise us. Take a class, get a skill... we already know you can punch buttons and pull your pud! C'mon, man!

The last time a big naked dude said he could help me, it did not end well.