The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They're telling me I oughta stop making these prerecorded messages. That gave me an idea - make more prerecorded messages! I pay the bills here; I can talk about the control group all damn day.

I've got some advice about getting covered in the propulsion gel.... do not get covered in the propulsion gel.

Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive.

If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples. You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.

If the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from space-debris DOES NOT appear to be a deliberate part of the test.