There should be a portal device on that podium over there. I can't see it though. Maybe it fell off. Do you want to go and have a quick look?
Whoah! Hello? Can you see the portal gun? Also, are you alive? That's important; should have asked that first. I'm - do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to work on the assumption that you're still alive, and I'm just going to wait for you up ahead. I'll wait - I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back, and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. All right? Brilliant! Go, team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not - dead.

What are you doing?

How about I read you a story? Once upon a time there were three little pigs. I'm emphasising the past tense because they all died. Just like you will. I really like the story.

I've got some advice about getting covered in the propulsion gel.... do not get covered in the propulsion gel.

All these science spheres are made of asbestos by the way, keeps out the rats. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breathe, a persistent dry cough or your heart stopping, because that's not part of the test. That's asbestos.

Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive.

All right, I've been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get Mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man whose gonna burn your house down - with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that'll burn your house down!