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Adventure

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Alan Turing:

According to the most extreme form of this view, the only way by which one could be sure that a machine thinks, is to be the machine and to feel oneself thinking. One could then describe these feelings to the world, but of course no one would be justified in taking any notice. Likewise according to this view, the only way to know that a man thinks is to be that particular man.

Note in the WC door:

I do not see the need for so many cameras.
Tom's presence everywhere is slightly oppressive. I understand the need for transparency, but why is he in the toilets?

Ava, Tom:

Tom: I may be a machine, but I personally do not believe I am stuck inside the Chinese room.
Ava: Right, you would say that. I could peer inside your database at any time, Tom. Or pause your operation.
Tom: Do not assume I could not do the same to you.

Ava, Tom:

Tom: Turing tests are tests designed to tell humans and machines apart. Typical problems only solvable by a human. A combination of logical and lateral thinking.
Ava: So you can't complete these tests Tom?
Tom: No. That is why I am glad you are here to help.

Tom:

Biological systems produce biological results. Messy, unpredictable solutions.

Ava, Tom:

Tom: Imagine you are in a room. In this room you are passed Chinese sentences trough a slot in the wall. Inside the room is an instruction book written in English. This instruction book tells you which Chinese words to pass back trough the slot in the wall as a response. By doing so you have a conversation in Chinese.
In the Chinese room, because the response you pass back trough the door are the correct responses the person on the other side of the door is convinced you are a native Chinese speaker.
Ava: Well, they're wrong. But the person stuck in the Chinese room is not aware of the conversations content.
Tom: This is a problem with the Turing Test. A computer can pass the Turing Test having convinced a human they are having a polite conversation. While the computer has no idea that a conversation has taken place.
Ava: What if both people passing Chinese words are reading from the instruction books?

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Announcer, Wheatley:

Announcer: Good Morning! You have been in suspension for nine, nine, nine, nine, nine nine...
Wheatley: Hello?
Announcer: This courtesy call is to inform all test subjects to vacate the Enrichment Center.
Wheatley: Are you going to open this door? Because it's fairly urgent.

GLaDOS in Co-Op Mode:

Weighted Cubes calibrated. No variances detected. Did you know humans frown on weight variances? If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.

GLaDOS:

Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? I discovered I have a sort of black box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis. I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever. You know, if you'd done that to somebody else, they might devote their existence to exacting REVENGE! Luckily, I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.

Cave Johnson:

For this next test, we put nanoparticles in the gel. In layman's terms, that's a billion little gizmos that are going to travel into your bloodstream and pump experimental genes and RNA molecules and so forth into your tumors. Now, maybe you don't have any tumors. Well, don't worry. If you sat on a folding chair in the lobby and weren't wearing lead underpants, we took care of that too.

Cave Johnson:

All these spheres are made of asbestos, by the way. Keeps out the rats. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough, or your heart stopping. Because that's not part of the test. That's asbestos. Good news is, the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of forty-four point six years, so if you're thirty or older, you're laughing. Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into a calculator, it makes a happy face.

Announcer:

Some emergency testing may require prolonged interaction with lethal military androids. Rest assured that all lethal military androids have been taught to read and provided with one copy of the Laws of Robotics. To share.

GLaDOS:

Did you feel that? That idiot doesn't know what he's doing up there. This whole place is going to explode in a few hours if somebody doesn't disconnect him. I can't move, and unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse.

GLaDOS:

Listen to me. We had a lot of fun testing and antagonizing each other, and, yes, sometimes it went too far. But we're off the clock now. It's just us talking, like regular people. And this is no joke: we are in deep trouble.

Wheatley after breaking 11 monitors:

They're not even your screens to break! It's vandalism! It's pure vandalism! You wouldn't do this if it was your house, would you? If I came around to your house smashin' your telly, you'd be furious. And rightly so. Unbelievable.

Game Quotes Statistics

Number of Quotes: 1126
English Quotes 474
German Quotes 652
Number of Games: 509
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