Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth.

When I said "deadly neurotoxin," the "deadly" was in massive sarcasm quotes. I could take a bath in this stuff. Put it on cereal, rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it's not deadly at all... to me. You, on the other hand, are going to find its deadliness... a lot less funny.

This is your fault. I'm going to kill you. And all the cake is gone. You don't even care, do you?

Due to mandatory scheduled maintenance, the next test is currently unavailable. It has been replaced with a live-fire course designed for military androids. The Enrichment Center apologizes and wishes you the best of luck.

Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science Self Esteem Fund for Girls? It's true!