I've got some advice about getting covered in the propulsion gel.... do not get covered in the propulsion gel.

Weighted Cubes calibrated. No variances detected. Did you know humans frown on weight variances? If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.

Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? I discovered I have a sort of black box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis. I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever. You know, if you'd done that to somebody else, they might devote their existence to exacting REVENGE! Luckily, I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.

Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive.

Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: "A horrible person." We weren't even testing for that. Don't let that horrible-person thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.