Well, Gordon, I see your HEV Suit still fits you like a glove. At least, the glove parts do.

I know you think I'm just a mindless recording. I'm programmed to repeat silly bits of patter while you drive around and murder people in this video game, right? Look, maybe that's true. Maybe it's true... but I got a question; how independent are YOU? Turning the tables is what I'm doing here. You think you have free will, but really you're just doing what the game tells you to do. How much control do you really have over your own life? I mean, think about it, this is what you do. Take a look, man... you sit around all day playing a video game and listening to fake radio stations. What are you doing with your life? Don't you want to get a girlfriend and maybe learn something new? Surprise us. Take a class, get a skill... we already know you can punch buttons and pull your pud! C'mon, man!

We live in a decaying system, which in turn produces ideologies of decay to justify its existence.

No matter what cultural signifiers they get packaged with, these ideologies come down to the same material result: a future in which for the average person there is less of everything. To paraphrase Mark Fisher, we find it easier to imagine the decline of civilization than to imagine a civilization worth living in.

This was a triumph! I'm making a note here: Huge Success. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture Science - we do what we must because we can. For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead. But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake. And the science gets done. And you make a neat gun. For the people who are still alive. I'm not even angry. I'm being most sincere right now. Even though you broke my heart and killed me. And tore me to pieces. And threw every piece into a fire. As they burned, it hurt because I was so happy for you. Now these points of data make a beautiful line. And we're out of beta; we're releasing on time. So I'm GLaD I got burned. Think of all the things we learned. For the people who are still alive. Go ahead and leave me. I think I prefer to stay inside. Maybe you'll find someone else to help you. Maybe Black Mesa. That was a joke - Ha Ha! Fat Chance! Anyway, this cake is great. It's so delicious and moist. Look at me still talking when there's science to do. When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you. I've experiments to run. There is research to be done. On the people who are still alive. And, believe me, I'm still alive! I'm doing science and I'm still alive! I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive! While you're dying, I'll be still alive! And when you're dead, I will be still alive! Still Alive! Still Alive...

Have you ever tried to indulge an all-consuming urge to kill when you don't have opposable thumbs? Or hands? Or anything other than a bread slot?