René, you're a man with a fork in a world of soup.

Mirror: A mirror hangs above a bent and broken sink. In a fierce discharge of masculine energy, someone has ripped half of the faucet off.

Conceptualization: Was this not the same elan that founds empires and lays waste to cities, virile, uncaring towards the little things?

Player: Looks like drinking hasn't turned out too well for me.
Electrochemistry: MAYBE YOU HAVEN'T TURNED OUT WELL FOR YOUR DRINKING?!

Ooh, the piggies have learned to saunter up staircases. I didn't think you could do that with hooves. But - her you are.

If ther ever was such a thing as an ugly kid, then this is it. He's almost exquisite in his ugliness. Like a gremlin.