Sharon spilled coffee on my new shirt while we were in the lounge this morning. I told her it was fine and we had a good laugh about the whole thing. If she does it again I'll stab her in the fucking throat with my pen.
She's a good kid.

So a ghoul walks into a bar...
Bartender says: "We don't serve any ghouls here."
Ghoul says: "That's fine. Is the human fresh?"

One of the joys of top notch taste receptors is getting to enjoy the full flavour without the nasty hangover.

Player: No machine should have free will.
Nick Valentine: Why? You jealous you had to turn yours in?

This is all much more exciting than domestic life I assure you!