Rogue: Johnny, remember the plan?
Johnny: Get the payload on the elevator, arm it, let gravity do its thing. Explosion rocks the foundation, tower crumbles - chaos, screaming, roll credits.

[SUCCEEDED] NOT IT'S HOLDING UP AN ARRAY OF FULLY-ERRECTED HAND PENISES. IF IT TRIES TO INSERT THEM, ACTIVATE VIVISECTORS.

V, V, V... If you don't have a titanium skull lining, you are gonna have memory problems in no time.

I know you think I'm just a mindless recording. I'm programmed to repeat silly bits of patter while you drive around and murder people in this video game, right? Look, maybe that's true. Maybe it's true... but I got a question; how independent are YOU? Turning the tables is what I'm doing here. You think you have free will, but really you're just doing what the game tells you to do. How much control do you really have over your own life? I mean, think about it, this is what you do. Take a look, man... you sit around all day playing a video game and listening to fake radio stations. What are you doing with your life? Don't you want to get a girlfriend and maybe learn something new? Surprise us. Take a class, get a skill... we already know you can punch buttons and pull your pud! C'mon, man!

Just when we thought Macroware was done putting out unfinished games, we get this piping hot plate of spaghetti code. Frankly, I don't even know where to start. From the "story mode" which feels like it was cobbled together from the half-baked ideas of six writers working in different time zones, to the non-intuitive tutorials, to the ridiculous lag that had me up making a fresh cup of coffee between each punch, and finally to the head-scratching localization foul-ups. (Honestly, the dialogues make no sense in any language. What the hell were they originally written in? Swiss?)