Ok. We need to lighten the mood.

Gordon Freeman, in the flesh - or, rather, in the hazard suit. I took the liberty of relieving you of your weapons. Most of them were government property. As for the suit, I think you've earned it. The borderworld, Xen, is in our control, for the time being... thanks to you. Quite a nasty piece of work you managed over there; I am impressed. That's why I'm here, Mr. Freeman. I have recommended your services to my... employers, and they have authorized me to offer you a job. They agree with me that you have limitless potential. You've proved yourself a decisive man so I don't expect you'll have any trouble deciding what to do. If you're interested, just step into the portal and I will take that as a yes. Otherwise, well, I can offer you a battle you have no chance of winning... rather an anticlimax after what you've just survived. Time to choose...

As part of a required Enrichment Center protocol, the previous statement that we would not monitor the test area was a complete fabrication. We will stop enhancing the truth in three... two... zzzt

If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples. You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.

There should be a portal device on that podium over there. I can't see it though. Maybe it fell off. Do you want to go and have a quick look?
Whoah! Hello? Can you see the portal gun? Also, are you alive? That's important; should have asked that first. I'm - do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to work on the assumption that you're still alive, and I'm just going to wait for you up ahead. I'll wait - I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back, and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. All right? Brilliant! Go, team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not - dead.