Remember, the Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested.

Let's be honest. Neither one of us knows what that thing does. Just put it in the corner and I'll deal with it later.

We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you. We are very very happy for your success. We are throwing a party in honor of your tremendous success. Place the device on the ground, then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. A party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party. Make no further attempt to leave the testing area. Assume the Party Escort Submission Position, or you will miss the party.

Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official testing record, followed by death.

GLaDOS: "Look, you're wasting your time. And, believe me, you don't have a whole lot left to waste. What's your point, anyway? Survival? Well, then, the last thing you want to do is hurt me. I have your brain scanned and permanently backed-up in case something terrible happens to you, which it's just about to. Don't believe me? Here, I'll put you on:"
Strange voice: Hellooooooooo!
GLaDOS: "That's you! That's how dumb you sound! You've been wrong about every single thing you've ever done, including this thing. You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a full-time employee! Where did your life go so wrong?"