Maybe if you got rid of that old Yee-Yee ass haircut you got you’d get some bitches on your dick.

Trevor: You know, Franklin, if there's one thing that you're gonna learn from being around us...
Michael: Plead fuckin' insanity. Then they can't fry ya.

We're fixing the problems that we made, together, which is why it's only fair that you pay for the problems, together.

We are about to put the Darwinism back in Social Darwinism, and brother, it's gonna be fun.

Michael: I'm trying to relate to you.
Jimmy: No, you're trying to take me on some nostalgia trip. You're such a cliche.
Michael: Oh! says the dope-smoking, game-playing, live-at-home, world-owes-him-a-living millennial.