I want to wake up beside a handsome virgin every morning, but life doesn't give us what we want.

Not what will happen - what will you do. Your past is not yet lost. Your future is not yet fixed.

Fine, I guess I'll just stay here and eat dirt or whatever.

Let's see. I hail from Waterdeep, the City of Splendours. I'm a wizard of considerable acclaim and scholar of exceptional accomplishment. I have a cat, a library and a weakness for a good glass of wine. And if the mood takes me I'm known to try my hand at poetry.

YES! OH GOODNESS YES! I am a good dog… Fantastic stuff.