Even at the worst of times, things aren't so bad when you're around, sir/mum.

One of the joys of top notch taste receptors is getting to enjoy the full flavour without the nasty hangover.

Each weapon tested on someone who deserved it.

Everything here is meant to kill at your discretion. Except for me. I only kill when I want to.

Sharon spilled coffee on my new shirt while we were in the lounge this morning. I told her it was fine and we had a good laugh about the whole thing. If she does it again I'll stab her in the fucking throat with my pen.
She's a good kid.