This was a triumph! I'm making a note here: Huge Success. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture Science - we do what we must because we can. For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead. But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake. And the science gets done. And you make a neat gun. For the people who are still alive. I'm not even angry. I'm being most sincere right now. Even though you broke my heart and killed me. And tore me to pieces. And threw every piece into a fire. As they burned, it hurt because I was so happy for you. Now these points of data make a beautiful line. And we're out of beta; we're releasing on time. So I'm GLaD I got burned. Think of all the things we learned. For the people who are still alive. Go ahead and leave me. I think I prefer to stay inside. Maybe you'll find someone else to help you. Maybe Black Mesa. That was a joke - Ha Ha! Fat Chance! Anyway, this cake is great. It's so delicious and moist. Look at me still talking when there's science to do. When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you. I've experiments to run. There is research to be done. On the people who are still alive. And, believe me, I'm still alive! I'm doing science and I'm still alive! I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive! While you're dying, I'll be still alive! And when you're dead, I will be still alive! Still Alive! Still Alive...

There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come, either, because you don't have any other friends because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file: "Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner, whose passing shall not be mourned. Shall NOT be mourned." That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so that's funny, too.

The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance: the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.

Well done, android. The Enrichment Center once again reminds you that Android Hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance.

While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you through the rest of the test. If it could talk - and the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot - it would tell you to go on without it, because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you.