The FIB? Do I look homosexual? Do you think I care about the size of your Johnson? Now... you can't always tell who the good guys are. I'm not a good guy. But I'm fighting with them, and guess what? So are you.

This town is startin' to make me angry; angry and alone. And broke. Man, it's expensive to live here! Time for some commercials to refill the coffers. I've got a yoga bill like a motherfucker!

You know, if there is one thing that I have learned, it is that we must obey the rules of the game. We can pick the game, Niko Bellic. But we cannot change the rules.

Yeah, I've never dated a foreign guy before - a lot from another planet, but none from another country.

Elizabeta: Everyone's a rat!
Niko: Not me.