I suck at life, but I bowl like an angel.

Elizabeta: Everyone's a rat!
Niko: Not me.

I have been to the other side. I have been there and it's incredible. They have flying elephants. They have men made out of chocolate. They have pizzas as big as the city. They have a prize for the a person with the biggest heart, not the biggest wallet.

United Liberty Paper: You think I don't know that? You think I've been sitting around scratching my balls with my head up my ass?
Niko: I'd be impressed if you had been.

You know, if there is one thing that I have learned, it is that we must obey the rules of the game. We can pick the game, Niko Bellic. But we cannot change the rules.