Elizabeta: Everyone's a rat!
Niko: Not me.

War is when the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing each other.

Gordon Sargent: So you're in, big guy? Or are we gonna have to kill ya?
Niko Bellic: Well, since you put it that way... I'm in.

Brucie: Nicky, we gotta get serious.
Niko: All right man. If you want my advice, the only way you're going to get your balls back to normal is if you stop juicing or get implants.

The FIB? Do I look homosexual? Do you think I care about the size of your Johnson? Now... you can't always tell who the good guys are. I'm not a good guy. But I'm fighting with them, and guess what? So are you.