United Liberty Paper: You think I don't know that? You think I've been sitting around scratching my balls with my head up my ass?
Niko: I'd be impressed if you had been.

Roman: Just like the old days, eh?
Niko: In the old days we were dodging bombs, not loan sharks.

Brucie: Nicky, we gotta get serious.
Niko: All right man. If you want my advice, the only way you're going to get your balls back to normal is if you stop juicing or get implants.

War is when the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing each other.

I see you are taking a break from romancing every animal in the zoo to abuse the generosity of your cousin.