I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.

Oh. Hi. So. How are you holding up? BECAUSE I'M A POTATO.

claps slowly three times

Oh, good. My slow-clap processor made it into this thing. So we have that. Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere - Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. - but since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts: he's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived. And you just put him in charge of the entire facility.

clap, clap

Good, that's still working. Hey, just in case this pit isn't actually bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those long-fall boots of yours and shove me into it? Just remember to land on one foot...

Had to be me. Someone else might have gotten it wrong.

I tried downloading an aimbot to be the best at this game, but ended up with a malware.

Player: I'm going to replace all your memories with pictures of cats. Meow.
DiMA: Well, I suppose that would certainly make remembering some of my darker hours more... fuzzy.