Now go! I need to meditate. Or masturbate. Or both.

We're fixing the problems that we made, together, which is why it's only fair that you pay for the problems, together.

What a shit show. I'll tell you what, you could take this desert, and stick it. My life may be a world of pain, but from here on out it's gonna be cool, comfortable, air-conditioned pain.

Ladies and gentlemen! This is your moment! Please don't make me ruin all the great work your plastic surgeons have been doing!

Redwood Cigarettes: great for when you're resting in the hospital, playing tennis, or jogging.