Fine, I guess I'll just stay here and eat dirt or whatever.

Let's see. I hail from Waterdeep, the City of Splendours. I'm a wizard of considerable acclaim and scholar of exceptional accomplishment. I have a cat, a library and a weakness for a good glass of wine. And if the mood takes me I'm known to try my hand at poetry.

Enjoy myself? There's a worm in my brain, I'm surrounded by idiots, and all I've got to drink is wine that tastes like vinegar.

You were never burdened with intelligence, but your load seems to be especially light these days.

The alliance is reforged, mortal. The planes thus quake, and the gods shudder.