I see you are taking a break from romancing every animal in the zoo to abuse the generosity of your cousin.

I suck at life, but I bowl like an angel.

War is when the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing each other.

This town is startin' to make me angry; angry and alone. And broke. Man, it's expensive to live here! Time for some commercials to refill the coffers. I've got a yoga bill like a motherfucker!

Dimitri Rascalov: I want to buy you a present.
Niko: Will you wrap it up and put a pretty bow on it?