Niko, let's go bowling.

War is when the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing each other.

I see you are taking a break from romancing every animal in the zoo to abuse the generosity of your cousin.

Dimitri Rascalov: I want to buy you a present.
Niko: Will you wrap it up and put a pretty bow on it?

Gordon Sargent: So you're in, big guy? Or are we gonna have to kill ya?
Niko Bellic: Well, since you put it that way... I'm in.