Elizabeta: Everyone's a rat!
Niko: Not me.

War is when the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing each other.

United Liberty Paper: You think I don't know that? You think I've been sitting around scratching my balls with my head up my ass?
Niko: I'd be impressed if you had been.

The FIB? Do I look homosexual? Do you think I care about the size of your Johnson? Now... you can't always tell who the good guys are. I'm not a good guy. But I'm fighting with them, and guess what? So are you.

I have been to the other side. I have been there and it's incredible. They have flying elephants. They have men made out of chocolate. They have pizzas as big as the city. They have a prize for the a person with the biggest heart, not the biggest wallet.