Floyd: You gotta go, both of you. My girlfriend, she'd kill me if she knew I had guests.
Trevor: Not much of a girlfriend if she don't like your family. Now would you get me a fucking drink? I'm not gonna ask you again!

Michael: I'm trying to relate to you.
Jimmy: No, you're trying to take me on some nostalgia trip. You're such a cliche.
Michael: Oh! says the dope-smoking, game-playing, live-at-home, world-owes-him-a-living millennial.

Remember To Turn Off Your Cell Phones, And Please Don’t Masturbate.

Now go! I need to meditate. Or masturbate. Or both.

Maybe if you got rid of that old Yee-Yee ass haircut you got you’d get some bitches on your dick.