Brucie: Nicky, we gotta get serious.
Niko: All right man. If you want my advice, the only way you're going to get your balls back to normal is if you stop juicing or get implants.

War is when the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing each other.

I see you are taking a break from romancing every animal in the zoo to abuse the generosity of your cousin.

I have been to the other side. I have been there and it's incredible. They have flying elephants. They have men made out of chocolate. They have pizzas as big as the city. They have a prize for the a person with the biggest heart, not the biggest wallet.

Vlad: What's your name again?
Niko: Big mouth prick.