Michael: It feels like I'm giving a colonoscopy to the Statue of Happiness.
Steve Haines: Nice change from being up Trevor Phillips' ass all day.

Michael: Alright... the fuck is this bullshit? We handled your little immigration problem or whatever the fuck it was. We're straight.
Steve Haines: Oh absolutely... yeah, yeah. You killed people, you tortured people, committed a litany of other crimes... Oh we're so straight you and me, we're arrows.

I think that I would recognize my own underwear, now give them back!

Wade: Are we nearly there yet?
Trevor: No, Wade.
Wade: Are nearly NEARLY there?
Trevor: You keep this up, you're not gonna get there at all.

Seatbelt. Serious.