I see you are taking a break from romancing every animal in the zoo to abuse the generosity of your cousin.

Doctor: Did they die of natural causes?
Niko Bellic: I suppose... A bullet in the head is as close to natural causes as anything in this city.

I suck at life, but I bowl like an angel.

You know, if there is one thing that I have learned, it is that we must obey the rules of the game. We can pick the game, Niko Bellic. But we cannot change the rules.

Gordon Sargent: So you're in, big guy? Or are we gonna have to kill ya?
Niko Bellic: Well, since you put it that way... I'm in.

Elizabeta: Everyone's a rat!
Niko: Not me.

War is when the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing each other.

You can't shake no hands when ye fist be clenched.

Niko, let's go bowling.