Trevor: Well, hello there beautiful. Here, (hands over money) go buy yourself something nice.
Aunt: This is seven dollars?!?!
Trevor: I said something nice, not something expensive…!

She looks like a bloodhound in front of a wind mill.

Maybe if you got rid of that old Yee-Yee ass haircut you got you’d get some bitches on your dick.

I’m not stoned at all. Hell no, not at all. Completely not stoned. I’m completely not stoned. I’m straight. Completely straight. I could do anything. Shitt, I could be a brain surgeon. Brain surgery, I could do that. Uhh, I shoulda been a surgeon. That’s what I shoulda been…

Now go! I need to meditate. Or masturbate. Or both.

Vote YES to proposition 208 and legalize medical Cocaine.

I think that I would recognize my own underwear, now give them back!

Look, I Love You Jimmy, But You’re An A**hole.

Remember To Turn Off Your Cell Phones, And Please Don’t Masturbate.

There's always a man. There's always a lighthouse There's always a city.

You can't break a man the way you break a dog or a horse. The harder you beat a man, the taller he stands.

Did I ever tell you what the definition of insanity is? Insanity is doing the exact... same fucking thing... over and over again expecting... shit to change... That. Is. Crazy.

There are two kinds of people: ones that are trying to build their future and ones that are trying to rebuild their past.

I should have been the one to fill your dark soul with liiiight!

You reap what you sow, Artyom: force answers force, war breeds war, and death only brings death. To break this vicious circle one must do more than act without any thought or doubt.