You are still a good person.

Can you even remember why you came here?

Cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding two conflicting ideas simultaneously.

Do you feel like a hero now?

This is all your fault

Einstein would turn over in his grave. Not only does God play dice, the dice are loaded.

Technological advance is an inherently iterative process. One does
not simply take sand from the beach and produce a Dataprobe. We
use crude tools to fashion better tools, and then our better tools to
fashion more precise tools, and so on. Each minor refinement is a
step in the process, and all of the steps must be taken.

As the Americans learned so painfully in Earth's final century, free flow of information is the only safeguard against tyranny. The once-chained people whose leaders at last lose their grip on information flow will soon burst with freedom and vitality, but the free nation gradually constricting its grip on public discourse has begun its rapid slide into despotism. Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master.

I sit in my cubicle, here on the motherworld. When I die, they will put my body in a box, and dispose of it in the cold ground. And in all the million ages to come, I will never breathe, or laugh, or twitch again. So won't you run and play with me here among the teeming mass of humanity? The universe has spared us this moment.

Also, I might have... umm... sort of... plowed his daughter. A little.

Well, says No-bark, we got a chupacabra with an automatic weapon. And that's when they get real quiet, 'cause now they see the predicament we're in.

But with this guy, it might have cost me some bad burns or an ass-rape. I'm all for risking my life, but I'm a little sensitive about asshole.

Well, his name's really Bob. I think it's funny to call him Herbert. But I don't think he thinks it's that funny.

You did a super job wrapping things up! And I'm not just saying that because I have to.

Get up without my permission, I'll blast your ass so far trough your head, it'll turn the moon cherry pie red.

Jimmy? Little Jimmy - my, how you're grown up. So good of you to come visit your grandma.

Longing makes the heart grow founder, but I've always been a fan of hog-typing my lovers to make sure they can't escape.

Nobody's dick is that long, not even Long Dick Johnson, and he had a fucking long dick. Thus, the name.

You want some weapon schematics? I can show you some fucking weapon schematics! You want a superheated Saturnite Power Fist? I can hook the shit up!

Have you ever tried to indulge an all-consuming urge to kill when you don't have opposable thumbs? Or hands? Or anything other than a bread slot?

Here, take a few radiation Chems, as my little way of saying, "I'm sorry I twisted your DNA like a kitten a ball of yarn".

[Barter 40] Dr. Courier diagnoses a terminally low discussion of caps in this conversation.

[SUCCEEDED] NOT IT'S HOLDING UP AN ARRAY OF FULLY-ERRECTED HAND PENISES. IF IT TRIES TO INSERT THEM, ACTIVATE VIVISECTORS.

On a scale of one to ten, I'd say it's a "shut the fuck up and fix me".

<Excited Beeping>