Let's see. I hail from Waterdeep, the City of Splendours. I'm a wizard of considerable acclaim and scholar of exceptional accomplishment. I have a cat, a library and a weakness for a good glass of wine. And if the mood takes me I'm known to try my hand at poetry.

The moron who burns twice as bright, dies twice as fast.

Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them. We all know what Sam does.

William: Would you consider helping me with gathering herbs for my studies?
Arthur: Why?
William: Knowledge... kindness... beauty.
Arthur: Well, I'm ignorant... ugly... and nasty.

Who dares judge the dead, for they are nothing.

Who dares to judge the living, for they are damned to nothingness.

THeRE IS NO REALITY. WORDS LIE.
IMaGES ARE SoLDIERS IN THE DICTATORSHIP OF THE SeNSES.
EVeN TH%SE WORDS ARE PaRT OF MY OPPReSSION.
UNDO THE BRa1N! EVERYTH&NG SH0ULD BE DEmOLISH%d!
THIS iS MY DRe4M, MINE, IT mUsT OBEY mY RULE§.
i REfUse tO aCCept your ReALity

Steps to reproduce:

1. Turn on engine
2. Try it again
3. Try it again
4. Kick the loader
5. Curse injured toes
6. I have to enter a minimum of eight steps
7. Try it again
8. It makes a rattling noise

Tread carefully, now. Not even a god would survive sacrificing me.

In a vision, I saw a prophet, and he said:
"There is no Heaven, and there is no Hell. There is only the earth, and the bones of the dead within."
I asked, "How then may we find salvation?" and he said, "You must build a new Jerusalem."
Out of the bones of the dead, we built a golden city.
But salvation is not immortality.
In the end, there is only the earth, and to the earth, we all return.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

I want to wake up beside a handsome virgin every morning, but life doesn't give us what we want.

You're my favorite parasite.

No... ringworm's my favorite parasite, you're my second favorite parasite.

I lied... ringworn, then rats with the plague, then you.

The honest philosopher seeks only the truth, even if it bears no comfort; and he must begin by assuming, as Socrates said, that all he knows is that he knows nothing.

Smashing! Soon, my friend - soon we can share a flagon of something liquid and a tale of derring-do!

In Louisville I met a maid,
mark well what I do say,
and she was mistress of her trade,
it was diddle-diddle-diddle all day!

I put my hand upon her toe,
mark well what I do say,
she says 'young man you're rather low',
for a diddle-diddle-diddle all day!

I put my finger on her knee,
mark well what I do say,
she says 'young man you're rather free',
for it's diddle-diddle-diddle all day!

I put my arm around her waist,
mark well what I do say,
she says 'young man you're in great haste',
for the diddle-diddle-diddle all day!

I put my hand upon her thigh,
mark well what I do say,
she says 'you're getting pretty nice',
and a diddle-diddle-diddle all day!

I put my hand upon her ass,
mark well what I do say,
she says 'let's lat down on the grass',
and diddle-diddle-diddle all day!

Go on. Give the worgs some Booze! They'll love it.