You exist because we allow it and you will end because we demand it.

Sharon spilled coffee on my new shirt while we were in the lounge this morning. I told her it was fine and we had a good laugh about the whole thing. If she does it again I'll stab her in the fucking throat with my pen.
She's a good kid.

Lamar: The fucker got fucked. He fucked the fucker himself.
Trevor: Shut up.

Player: I'm going to replace all your memories with pictures of cats. Meow.
DiMA: Well, I suppose that would certainly make remembering some of my darker hours more... fuzzy.

Trevor: You know, Franklin, if there's one thing that you're gonna learn from being around us...
Michael: Plead fuckin' insanity. Then they can't fry ya.

God took a rest day on the 7th, but we don't! 7 days of work all the time!

The road to Hell is paved - by Argent energy.

We shootin' shit up? Sprayin' some motherfuckers? I can drive-by with the best of'em.

Steve Haines: The problem with this job is I only get to know the criminals who are dumb enough to get themselves caught.
Michael: Only I didn't get myself caught. Remember? I turned myself in.
Steve Haines: That makes you doubly dumb.

I need a weapon.

Teach them to fear us.

I've got a weapon for every situation. Hunting, protection, cold blooded murder, HOT blooded murder.

Michael: It feels like I'm giving a colonoscopy to the Statue of Happiness.
Steve Haines: Nice change from being up Trevor Phillips' ass all day.

You're back, man. WE are back. All we gotta do is bust out Brad and then we're golden, man! Franklin, he makes us multicultural. Lester makes it cyber. We're like modern America. We just get ourselves a gay friend, and BAM!

One of the joys of top notch taste receptors is getting to enjoy the full flavour without the nasty hangover.