Jimmy: Hey, let's bounce.
Michael: Bounce? We're bouncing now? Is that what we're doing? Jesus fucking Christ.

Oh, it's not over until I teabag every last one of you alien motherfuckers.

Let's see. I hail from Waterdeep, the City of Splendours. I'm a wizard of considerable acclaim and scholar of exceptional accomplishment. I have a cat, a library and a weakness for a good glass of wine. And if the mood takes me I'm known to try my hand at poetry.

You forget a thousand things every day, pal. Make sure this is one of 'em.

You tell me what you want and I'll explain to you very carefully why it cannot be.

Heywood? That explains your colofur CV. Theft, assault, robbery... the usual checklist.

I'll be there later to sign the contracts. Just ignore the bodies…

We're fixing the problems that we made, together, which is why it's only fair that you pay for the problems, together.

The moron who burns twice as bright, dies twice as fast.

Bring me my coffee or I'm gonna cut your arm off!

You make me want a lobotomy!

Niko: What is he talking about?
Roman: Brucie's a dreamer... he understands my vision.
Niko: Oh, so he's an idiot?

Ancient Reptilian Brain: There is nothing. Only warm, primordial blackness. Your conscience ferments in it - no largher than a single grain of malt. You don't have to do anything anymore.
Ever.
Never ever.

Player: Never ever ever?

I'm rich, I'm miserable - I'm pretty average for this town.

You know, I've been in this game for a lot of years and I got out alive. If you want my advice - give the shit up.