Sometimes two people find themselves at the wrong place at the right time.

My cause is to keep this town from turning into a living hell for the folks who live here.

It's said war - war never changes. Men do, through the roads they walk. And this road... has reached its end.

Now, as that ol' Greek dawg says, life's a banquet - so don't go thirsty, but don't get drunk, either.

There once were two sisters, Night and Death,
Death large, and Night small,
Night had the beauty of dreams, while Death,
Death was most lovely of all -

Hey nonny nonny, hey nonny nonny!
Death was most lovely of all.

V: Doesn't it bother you?
Ozob: What?
V: The grenade. You know, the one on your face?
Ozob: Eh, you get used to it. I just gotta be carefull not to pull the pin when I wanna pick my nose.

All right, I've been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get Mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man whose gonna burn your house down - with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that'll burn your house down!

It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield.

What, smoking after sex not Zen enough for you? We gotta rewrite "The Art of War", too?

I am neither man nor woman, but both deserve more respect than you do.

To know you are close to the end is kind of a freedom.

Oo, I love this town! Love it like you might love a mother who popped you out on the steps of an orphanage and now stops you to ask if you got a smoke for her!

Hands are bleeding, raw. I scrub and scrub but the smell will not lift. How can I hold my children with these hands now? How can I kiss them goodnight with lips that have issued such instruction?

When you see Claptrap next, please let him know that none of my laboratory equipment has any interest in him romantically.

Some people are only nice because they're afraid of getting hurt. Or 'cause their religion tells 'em to be.