When you see Claptrap next, please let him know that none of my laboratory equipment has any interest in him romantically.

Man dies the way he was born: soft, weak and helpless. Death, the one certainty in this universe of chaos, can be both a tragic end and a release from suffering, It can come as an unexpected twist, or as a beautiful, crowning counterpart to a live well lived. The curse we face as humanity, the only living beings in constant awareness of death, is our inordinate focus on the fact. How much happier is the life of the gazelle that escapes the cheetah's clutches, thinking that it evaded death once and for all, than the poor soul living out his days knowing each step inches him closer to the void!

V: Nice ride. Lots of space. Practical.
Panam: Say no more. Please.
V: How the hell'd you land in this mess?
Panam: I liked the color. The air freshener and booster seat came extra.
V: You know I don't mean the car.

V: Doesn't it bother you?
Ozob: What?
V: The grenade. You know, the one on your face?
Ozob: Eh, you get used to it. I just gotta be carefull not to pull the pin when I wanna pick my nose.

What, smoking after sex not Zen enough for you? We gotta rewrite "The Art of War", too?

Some like taking friends on adventures. M'aiq thinks being alone is better. Less arguing about splitting treasure.

All right, I've been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get Mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man whose gonna burn your house down - with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that'll burn your house down!

Some people are only nice because they're afraid of getting hurt. Or 'cause their religion tells 'em to be.

He's fucked in the head, the world's fucked in the head - and you're fucked in the head 'cause MY fucked up head is inside it.
Guess if you want to save the world, that's the first step - get fucked in the head.

I have found that people lie, most often deceiving themselves. Not so the dead...
The dead are so very, very loud. And yet, lying is not in their nature.
It its so... humbling - to listen to the dead speak.

Jackie: Ahhh, there's the awkward silence. You, uh, wanna hear a joke?
T-Bug: Now? Seriously?
Jackie: Ok, so why'd the rockerboy's output kick him out of the apartment? ... Cause he wasn't chippin' in. Hahaa!

Not the brightest bulb on stage, are ya?

You must be careful what you wish for lest your wish be granted. For there are consequences.

If it looks like miso and smells like miso, it its not the best miso.

Be alone with my thoughts? Near on unachievable these days.