When you see Claptrap next, please let him know that none of my laboratory equipment has any interest in him romantically.

To know you are close to the end is kind of a freedom.

V: Doesn't it bother you?
Ozob: What?
V: The grenade. You know, the one on your face?
Ozob: Eh, you get used to it. I just gotta be carefull not to pull the pin when I wanna pick my nose.

Man dies the way he was born: soft, weak and helpless. Death, the one certainty in this universe of chaos, can be both a tragic end and a release from suffering, It can come as an unexpected twist, or as a beautiful, crowning counterpart to a live well lived. The curse we face as humanity, the only living beings in constant awareness of death, is our inordinate focus on the fact. How much happier is the life of the gazelle that escapes the cheetah's clutches, thinking that it evaded death once and for all, than the poor soul living out his days knowing each step inches him closer to the void!

The stories don't do this place justice. It is amazing! You've never seen anywhere as busy as the market in Algiers. The smells, the flavours, the colours and – oh – the noise!

All right, I've been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get Mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man whose gonna burn your house down - with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that'll burn your house down!

Some people are only nice because they're afraid of getting hurt. Or 'cause their religion tells 'em to be.

Jackie: Ahhh, there's the awkward silence. You, uh, wanna hear a joke?
T-Bug: Now? Seriously?
Jackie: Ok, so why'd the rockerboy's output kick him out of the apartment? ... Cause he wasn't chippin' in. Hahaa!

What, smoking after sex not Zen enough for you? We gotta rewrite "The Art of War", too?

Hands are bleeding, raw. I scrub and scrub but the smell will not lift. How can I hold my children with these hands now? How can I kiss them goodnight with lips that have issued such instruction?

Some like taking friends on adventures. M'aiq thinks being alone is better. Less arguing about splitting treasure.

Some believe uncertainty is an evil that should be dispelled through divination. Others claim it's change that is evil. But that isn't true either. Every minute of every day, we each become someone new. We shouldn't fear change itself, but only who we might change into. Knowing one's path is moth important.

We now have direct confirmation of a disruptor in our midst, one who has acquired an almost messianic reputation in the minds of certain citizens. His figure is synonymous with the darkest urges of instinct, ignorance and decay. Some of the worst excesses of the Black Mesa Incident have been laid directly at his feet. And yet unsophisticated minds continue to imbue him with romantic power, giving him such dangerous poetic labels as the One Free Man, the Opener of the Way. Let me remind all citizens of the dangers of magical thinking. We have scarcely begun to climb from the dark pit of our species' evolution. Let us not slide backward into oblivion, just as we have finally begun to see the light. If you see this so-called Free Man, report him. Civic deeds do not go unrewarded. And contrariwise, complicity with his cause will not go unpunished. Be wise. Be safe. Be aware.

If it looks like miso and smells like miso, it its not the best miso.

You must be careful what you wish for lest your wish be granted. For there are consequences.