Only death awaits you all.

Announcer: Good Morning! You have been in suspension for nine, nine, nine, nine, nine nine...
Wheatley: Hello?
Announcer: This courtesy call is to inform all test subjects to vacate the Enrichment Center.
Wheatley: Are you going to open this door? Because it's fairly urgent.

This town is startin' to make me angry; angry and alone. And broke. Man, it's expensive to live here! Time for some commercials to refill the coffers. I've got a yoga bill like a motherfucker!

"Yeah, see I'll tell you what the alternative is. It's not that complicated. It's about one man and this gun versus another man. Sure, civilization may be dull, but the alternative, Mr. Marston, is hell."

Unlike everything else in your life, the work you do here matters!

Commie ghosts what don't know they're dead. Hoping to steal our rockets so they can fly up and paint the moon pink and draw a Lenin face on it.

For this next test, we put nanoparticles in the gel. In layman's terms, that's a billion little gizmos that are going to travel into your bloodstream and pump experimental genes and RNA molecules and so forth into your tumors. Now, maybe you don't have any tumors. Well, don't worry. If you sat on a folding chair in the lobby and weren't wearing lead underpants, we took care of that too.

Each weapon tested on someone who deserved it.

Anything that can kill a man, I sell. Except suicidal depression.That is unfortunately not packageable.

Everything here is meant to kill at your discretion. Except for me. I only kill when I want to.

Carl Johnson: Oh shit! Where you get this?
Cesar: Same place I got my pants, homes. This is America, man!

Fucking shit, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt! Who the fuck are you speaking to? Who? Who? I'm talking to you huh? You fuck! Next time don't get in my fucking face! I just saw a fucking ghost and I gotta hear your crap? Get up! Get up! Fuck you then.

Truth is, the game was rigged from the start.

The curse of much knowledge is often indecision.

The thing about happiness is that you only know you had it when it's gone. I mean, you may think to yourself that you're happy.
But you don't really believe it. You focus on the pretty bullshit, or the next job, or whatever.
It's only looking back by comparison with what comes after that you really understand, that's what happiness felt like.