You can't break a man the way you break a dog or a horse. The harder you beat a man, the taller he stands.

There's always a man. There's always a lighthouse There's always a city.

I realize now that it will take time, that the road ahead is long and shrouded in darkness. It is a road that will not always take me where I wish to go and I doubt I will live to see its end, but I will travel down it, nonetheless. For at my side walks hope in the face of all that insists I turn back, I carry on and this...this is my compromise.

What's true and what IS, aren't always the same.

Remember To Turn Off Your Cell Phones, And Please Don’t Masturbate.

Look, I Love You Jimmy, But You’re An A**hole.

I think that I would recognize my own underwear, now give them back!

Now go! I need to meditate. Or masturbate. Or both.

I’m not stoned at all. Hell no, not at all. Completely not stoned. I’m completely not stoned. I’m straight. Completely straight. I could do anything. Shitt, I could be a brain surgeon. Brain surgery, I could do that. Uhh, I shoulda been a surgeon. That’s what I shoulda been…

Maybe if you got rid of that old Yee-Yee ass haircut you got you’d get some bitches on your dick.

She looks like a bloodhound in front of a wind mill.

You look like you struggle with simple tasks.

Redwood Cigarettes: great for when you're resting in the hospital, playing tennis, or jogging.

Yoga unifies the mind and body while freeing you from the limitations of dignity and self-respect. It's a work out, a philosophy, and a metaphor all rolled into one. It is everything. It is nothing. Be. Be nothing.

Stop it! You're ruining my yoga!