Tom: I may be a machine, but I personally do not believe I am stuck inside the Chinese room.
Ava: Right, you would say that. I could peer inside your database at any time, Tom. Or pause your operation.
Tom: Do not assume I could not do the same to you.

Tom: Turing tests are tests designed to tell humans and machines apart. Typical problems only solvable by a human. A combination of logical and lateral thinking.
Ava: So you can't complete these tests Tom?
Tom: No. That is why I am glad you are here to help.

Biological systems produce biological results. Messy, unpredictable solutions.

Tom: Imagine you are in a room. In this room you are passed Chinese sentences trough a slot in the wall. Inside the room is an instruction book written in English. This instruction book tells you which Chinese words to pass back trough the slot in the wall as a response. By doing so you have a conversation in Chinese.
In the Chinese room, because the response you pass back trough the door are the correct responses the person on the other side of the door is convinced you are a native Chinese speaker.
Ava: Well, they're wrong. But the person stuck in the Chinese room is not aware of the conversations content.
Tom: This is a problem with the Turing Test. A computer can pass the Turing Test having convinced a human they are having a polite conversation. While the computer has no idea that a conversation has taken place.
Ava: What if both people passing Chinese words are reading from the instruction books?

The wind's gettin' a bit choppy. You can compensate for it, or you can wait it out, but he might leave before it dies down. It's your call. Remember what I've taught you. Keep in mind variable humidity and wind speed along the bullet's flight path. At this distance you'll also have to take the Coriolis Effect into account.

Why is it whenever someone says "with all due respect", they really mean "kiss my ass"?

Mark my words: When these hands are crushing your throat, your dying breath won't be an appeal to God or a message of love to your family. It'll be, "Thank you, Killbane."

Male: You wanna fight the best, you fight me.
Eddie Pryor: The best? The best is beating Sway the Spider-God in a Tijuana Scaffold Match. The best is defending the world title 13 times in one night. The best is winning a last man standing match with two broken legs... Trust me, little Icarus: you're flying too close to the sun.

I know you think I'm just a mindless recording. I'm programmed to repeat silly bits of patter while you drive around and murder people in this video game, right? Look, maybe that's true. Maybe it's true... but I got a question; how independent are YOU? Turning the tables is what I'm doing here. You think you have free will, but really you're just doing what the game tells you to do. How much control do you really have over your own life? I mean, think about it, this is what you do. Take a look, man... you sit around all day playing a video game and listening to fake radio stations. What are you doing with your life? Don't you want to get a girlfriend and maybe learn something new? Surprise us. Take a class, get a skill... we already know you can punch buttons and pull your pud! C'mon, man!

The last time a big naked dude said he could help me, it did not end well.

Before you I place a choice. Walk through the blue door and continue to face yet more failures at saving those closest to you. Your race will live on borrowed time and will, through your violent arrogance, wind up extinct. Walk through the red door, however, and I will release the humans whom I have collected. I will give them amnesty and even a ship from my fleet to do with as they see fit. However, in choosing this door, you will willingly submit yourself to execution. This is the moment where you can prove to be the savior of humanity, or its absolute destroyer.

I have been to the other side. I have been there and it's incredible. They have flying elephants. They have men made out of chocolate. They have pizzas as big as the city. They have a prize for the a person with the biggest heart, not the biggest wallet.

Hey, hey, you gotta listen to me, you gotta hear me, are you listening? It's not real man! It's a lie, it's all lies. The government lies to us. They put robots in the drinking water, they put spies in the toilets - to watch us! You think it's a joke, the joke's on you, they're killing you! You are being harvested by a marketing machine! You're not free, you're slaves! Freedom is a lie! They use drugs to control you, they did it to me for a long time. You need love! I need you, you need me, I love you! Love me back!

This town is startin' to make me angry; angry and alone. And broke. Man, it's expensive to live here! Time for some commercials to refill the coffers. I've got a yoga bill like a motherfucker!

Brucie: Nicky, we gotta get serious.
Niko: All right man. If you want my advice, the only way you're going to get your balls back to normal is if you stop juicing or get implants.

United Liberty Paper: You think I don't know that? You think I've been sitting around scratching my balls with my head up my ass?
Niko: I'd be impressed if you had been.

Patrick McReary: What do ya think of Niko, Gracie?
Gracie Ancelotti: Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
Patrick McReary: Gracie, you're sweet.

Dimitri Rascalov: I want to buy you a present.
Niko: Will you wrap it up and put a pretty bow on it?

I see you are taking a break from romancing every animal in the zoo to abuse the generosity of your cousin.

Doctor: Did they die of natural causes?
Niko Bellic: I suppose... A bullet in the head is as close to natural causes as anything in this city.

I suck at life, but I bowl like an angel.

You know, if there is one thing that I have learned, it is that we must obey the rules of the game. We can pick the game, Niko Bellic. But we cannot change the rules.

Gordon Sargent: So you're in, big guy? Or are we gonna have to kill ya?
Niko Bellic: Well, since you put it that way... I'm in.

Elizabeta: Everyone's a rat!
Niko: Not me.

War is when the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing each other.