You are not a good person. You know that, right? Good people don't get up here.

Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official testing record, followed by death.

We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you. We are very very happy for your success. We are throwing a party in honor of your tremendous success. Place the device on the ground, then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. A party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party. Make no further attempt to leave the testing area. Assume the Party Escort Submission Position, or you will miss the party.

Look: we're both stuck in this place. I'll use lasers to inscribe a line down the center of the facility, and one half will be where you live, and I'll live in the other half. We won't have to try to kill each other or even talk if we don't feel like it.

You are kidding me. Did you just stuff that Aperture Science thing-we-don't-know-what-it-does into an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator?

Your entire life has been a mathematical error... a mathematical error I'm about to correct!

While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you through the rest of the test. If it could talk - and the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot - it would tell you to go on without it, because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you.

Where are we going? Are you coming back? What's that noise? Is that a gun? Do you smell something burning? Ooooohh... what's in heeeere?

This is your fault. It didn't have to be like this. I'm not kidding, now! Turn back, or I will kill you! I'm going to kill you, and all the cake is gone! You don't even care, do you? This is your last chance!

Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it? Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far... is my heart. Maybe you could settle for that, and we'll just call it a day. I guess we both know that isn't going to happen.

There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come, either, because you don't have any other friends because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file: "Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner, whose passing shall not be mourned. Shall NOT be mourned." That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so that's funny, too.

Remember, the Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested.

Who are you? What is that? Oh, What's that? What's THAT? What is THAT?

This was a triumph! I'm making a note here: Huge Success. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture Science - we do what we must because we can. For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead. But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake. And the science gets done. And you make a neat gun. For the people who are still alive. I'm not even angry. I'm being most sincere right now. Even though you broke my heart and killed me. And tore me to pieces. And threw every piece into a fire. As they burned, it hurt because I was so happy for you. Now these points of data make a beautiful line. And we're out of beta; we're releasing on time. So I'm GLaD I got burned. Think of all the things we learned. For the people who are still alive. Go ahead and leave me. I think I prefer to stay inside. Maybe you'll find someone else to help you. Maybe Black Mesa. That was a joke - Ha Ha! Fat Chance! Anyway, this cake is great. It's so delicious and moist. Look at me still talking when there's science to do. When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you. I've experiments to run. There is research to be done. On the people who are still alive. And, believe me, I'm still alive! I'm doing science and I'm still alive! I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive! While you're dying, I'll be still alive! And when you're dead, I will be still alive! Still Alive! Still Alive...

That thing you burned up isn't important to me; it's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It makes shoes for orphans... nice job breaking it, hero.

Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.

The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that the Weighted Companion Cube cannot talk. In the event that it does talk The Enrichment Centre asks you to ignore its advice.

GLaDOS: "Look, you're wasting your time. And, believe me, you don't have a whole lot left to waste. What's your point, anyway? Survival? Well, then, the last thing you want to do is hurt me. I have your brain scanned and permanently backed-up in case something terrible happens to you, which it's just about to. Don't believe me? Here, I'll put you on:"
Strange voice: Hellooooooooo!
GLaDOS: "That's you! That's how dumb you sound! You've been wrong about every single thing you've ever done, including this thing. You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a full-time employee! Where did your life go so wrong?"

Scientist: "Do you think we should appeal to the alien authorities?"
Scientist 2: "Absolutely not!"

Mister, if you can get the power on, that train will take us straight to the surface. I would try it myself, but it's a long way down the generator room, and there are... things, in the way...

Eli Vance: Ah, Gordon. Here you are. We just sent the sample down to the test chamber.
Scientist 2: We boosted the anti-mass spectrometer 105 percent. Bit of a gamble, but we need the extra resolution.
Scientist 3: The administrator is very concerned that we get a conclusive analysis of today's sample. I gather they went to some length to get it.
Eli Vance: They're waiting for you Gordon, in the test chamber.

Well, so much for the government, their idea of containment is to kill everyone associated with the project! Judging by your hazard suit I'd say you were part of what went wrong, isn't that right? Now look, if anyone can end this catastrophe it's the science team in the Lambda Complex at the opposite end of the base. With the transit system out I couldn't tell you how to get there, but there's an old decommissioned rail system somewhere through here, beyond the silo complex. If you can make it through the rocket test labs, you might be able to worm your way through the old tunnels to track down whatever's left of the Lambda team. You can trust them. You can trust all of us. Good luck.

Eli Vance: "Why didn't they listen? We tried to warn them."
Scientist 2: "I never thought I'd see a resonance cascade, let alone create one."
Eli Vance: "Gordon, you're alive! Thank God for that hazard suit. I'm afraid to move him and all our phones are out. Please get to the surface as soon as you can and let someone know we're stranded down here. You'll need me to access the retinal scanners. I'm sure the rest of the science team will gladly help you."

Come in, Cooper! Do you copy? Forget about Freeman, we're abandoning the base. If you have any last bomb targets, mark them on the tactical map. Otherwise, get the hell out of there! Repeat, we are pulling out and commencing airstrikes, give us targets or get below!

Gordon Freeman - it is you, isn't it? The Science Team has been tracking your progress with the Black Mesa security system. Unfortunately, so has the military. That suit of yours is full of tracking devices. Still, it's better than going naked in this place. It's cold in there, and you'll have to hurry. It could sap your suit power in a matter of moments! If you're bent on reaching the Lambda Complex, then you'll want to keep to the older, industrial areas where the security system is full of holes. It's worked for me, so far.